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The Rabbit Report

The meeting was held at the Jackson’s
We went there along with the rest
The aim was to sort out his rabbits
And to try to get rid of the pests

Les White was there with his ferret
A friendly wee sort of a beast
But we didn’t see a sign of a rabbit
So we went back to the house for the feast.

When you’d all had a crack and departed
Bill turned and said, “Do you know
I think we’ll go back to the field
And give it another bit go.”

We set of back down to the warrens
To sort out bunny and all of his marras
With a stick and a sack and a ferret we borrowed
From a women, from Edgehill, in Darras

We set that wee ferret away to his task
Then sat down for a chat and a talk
About shepherds crooks, and B.S.E.
And the prices of lamb and of pork

But up we jumped with a sudden start
The peace it was rent asunder
Bill thought it was a plane taking off
To me it just sounded like thunder

That ferret had started a panic
The rabbits came out fast and thick
We grabbed what we could with our hands
Then went in with the bag and the stick

We caught rabbits that night for hours
Till we just couldn’t catch any more
Bill said, “We must have three thousand”
But I thought it was nearer to four

Peter got word and was soon on the phone
Saying “Can you pick me out a good-un”
Roma cooked it for dinner the very next day
In a tin with a lump of black pudding

What could we do with these rabbits?
The problem had us both baffled
But we sent a vanload to Woodburn for Ina
And that night the whole lot was raffled

Bill got on the telephone to Branson
“Send a plane, the biggest you can”
And we sent it off fully laden
For the starving folk out in Sudan

Now that ferret was hailed as a hero
And WE found fame and renown
We were granted the freedom of Ponteland
By the Lord Mayor of Callerton town

Reporters they came by the car-load,
All wanting to hear our views,
We even had Trevor McDonald,
Wanted us on the 10 ‘o’ clock news.

Bill said, “Just ignore the Media
Just let them rave and rant”
And he said not a word to the reporters
(Except a page in the Hexham Courant)

Our fame it soon crossed the Atlantic
And I marvel to this very day
How Miss Lewinsky was so soon forgotten
And we were heroes in the U.S.of A.

But then I awoke with a startle
My moment of glory was gone
It was six o’clock, on a cold Monday morning
With another day’s work to be done.

(But it was great while it lasted)

DJ

The Rabbit Report

The meeting was held at the Jackson’s
We went there along with the rest
The aim was to sort out his rabbits
And to try to get rid of the pests

Les White was there with his ferret
A friendly wee sort of a beast
But we didn’t see a sign of a rabbit
So we went back to the house for the feast.

When you’d all had a crack and departed
Bill turned and said, “Do you know
I think we’ll go back to the field
And give it another bit go.”

We set of back down to the warrens
To sort out bunny and all of his marras
With a stick and a sack and a ferret we borrowed
From a women, from Edgehill, in Darras

We set that wee ferret away to his task
Then sat down for a chat and a talk
About shepherds crooks, and B.S.E.
And the prices of lamb and of pork

But up we jumped with a sudden start
The peace it was rent asunder
Bill thought it was a plane taking off
To me it just sounded like thunder

That ferret had started a panic
The rabbits came out fast and thick
We grabbed what we could with our hands
Then went in with the bag and the stick

We caught rabbits that night for hours
Till we just couldn’t catch any more
Bill said, “We must have three thousand”
But I thought it was nearer to four

Peter got word and was soon on the phone
Saying “Can you pick me out a good-un”
Roma cooked it for dinner the very next day
In a tin with a lump of black pudding

What could we do with these rabbits?
The problem had us both baffled
But we sent a vanload to Woodburn for Ina
And that night the whole lot was raffled

Bill got on the telephone to Branson
“Send a plane, the biggest you can”
And we sent it off fully laden
For the starving folk out in Sudan

Now that ferret was hailed as a hero
And WE found fame and renown
We were granted the freedom of Ponteland
By the Lord Mayor of Callerton town

Reporters they came by the car-load,
All wanting to hear our views,
We even had Trevor McDonald,
Wanted us on the 10 ‘o’ clock news.

Bill said, “Just ignore the Media
Just let them rave and rant”
And he said not a word to the reporters
(Except a page in the Hexham Courant)

Our fame it soon crossed the Atlantic
And I marvel to this very day
How Miss Lewinsky was so soon forgotten
And we were heroes in the U.S.of A.

But then I awoke with a startle
My moment of glory was gone
It was six o’clock, on a cold Monday morning
With another day’s work to be done.

(But it was great while it lasted)

DJ